mature.love

i know that every single one need to pass through a big problem of their life,

just after that, they will become more mature.

So do I.

As I am wondering,

what will I face then I really can become more mature,

my thinking in some perspective might be mature,

but I know that myself still have a lot of things that I am solving childishly.

from our starting until now,

there are really a lot of unsatisfaction,

you and,

me...

But of course, from the very start,

everything just went through very smooth...

really as sweet as honey,

or even,

more than that...

and slowly,

maybe after two months,

the sweetest memory has changed,

we have quite many times of quarrel,

I think that boy need to pay for girl's meal,

but you said no,

using American method to pay.

Then,

I started to think,

why you can when you don't really get me yet,

and after this,

all change?

I thought that you are more generous,

more care about me when I was him,

but slowly,

when the time passing,

the real you,

coming out...

I started to think that you,

love yourself,

more than I.

You afraid of losing your face,

more than me...

You break the premises again and again!

actually, it's not only hurt me,

but reduces your marks as well.

I don't dare to imagine how much you maintain,

but it's still a big number or even infinity for me to erase you from my little place...

I know, I will be hot tempered sometime,

but I know after that I will sayang you immediately.

However,

How about you?

sometime even I am angry,

you don't know also...

I really feel disappointed with you.

I think that,

if I am your loved one,

I am your thought of soul mate,

then,

you will always see me,

but,

there's been so many times that I am still in front of you,

just passed by in front of you,

and still you can't see me...

how hurt it is,

I can describe that,

the glasses never break,

but with a lot of cracks.

and you know what's the reason,

because you are always holding your phone,

or watching someone else holding some technological devices,

and so I am not in your sight.

It's really disappoint me,

Really...

tonight,

I think of,

maybe let's the Christmas,

to be our last happy day,

can I?

I can be the cruel one,

to reduce my hurts,

I don't mind to be the selfish one.

I don't like that my eyes are not enough deep,

always like to rain...

I do love you,

but can I continue,

without hurts?

I've told you so many times,

that what I like,

what I don't like, but you always repeat what I don't like

and forgot what I like,

I keep repeat again and again,

I am also human being,

I am tired,you know?

but I know myself,

every time,

after today,

we will still like before,

quarrelling,

hugging,

and kissing~

I know you love me too,

you don't want to lose me,

just that we might have different idea sometime...

I just think that,

maybe someday,

when we are mature,

we will manage it well,

or else.......

cherish_goh_cherish_you

21Dec2011

2:41am